Be Fully You

You Said What? 4 Things Not to Reveal on a First Date

He didn’t call, did he? It happens to everyone from time to time. However, if you notice that you rarely get a call back after the first or second date, it’s time to do some real soul searching. You can’t change other people, but maybe there’s something that you’re doing that you might want to take a look at.

Replay your past few dates to see if there are any patterns. Think about what you said and how you acted. If you downed 10 shots and had to be rolled into a cab at the end of the night, you won’t have to think very hard to figure out the problem. If things aren’t so obvious, you might have to search deeper. In the meantime, following are a few things you should never reveal on a first date.

Kinks and Fetishes

So what? You have enough toys in your sex room to have a freak off with Christian Grey and win. It’s nothing to brag about. Well, actually it is, but you shouldn’t start bragging on your first date unless you met that date on a kink site. While a lot of men like kinks and fetishes, they will get turned off if you bring yours up too quickly. Revealing fetishes, or anything uber-sexual, is too much information for the first date. It’s a bell that can’t be un-rung. Getting to know each other will be hard if you’re both distracted by thoughts of you in a spanking skirt or how he’d look with handcuffs. If you want a man who will like you for you, keep the topic away from sex in the beginning. If there’s chemistry you’ll feel it without having to talk about it. Even if you do share the same kinks and fetishes, you need to spend some time getting to know each other, sexual fetishes aside. You can bring the freak out to play later.

Relationship Fails

Guys don’t like to hear about all the ones that came before them and what they did to piss you off. If you constantly pick apart your past relationships and point out undesirable traits of your exes, your date will know he’s next and check out early on in the evening. When you constantly bitch about your past relationships, it makes it seem like it’s impossible to please you. If he asks about your past relationships, now is not the time to go into specifics.  Say something positive or at least neutral about your ex and how things just didn’t work out. If the guys were really jerks, your new man will figure it out eventually. You don’t need to announce it.

Neurotic Habits

Everyone has habits that they hide from others. However, some people are a little too open. While it’s OK that you alphabetize your spice rack weekly and bite your fingernails obsessively, you don’t have to talk about it on your first date. Reveal your quirky habits naturally. Don’t lay them all out on the table the first night.

Relationship Expectations

Dating is all about getting to know each other and finding out if you’re compatible. However, you don’t have to figure it all out on the first date. Instead of telling your date what you expect from a partner and what your five-year plan is, enjoy a little banter, flirting and small talk. The serious stuff can come later.

First dates are awkward enough. Don’t make yours even more awkward by bringing up inappropriate subject matter. Keep it light and conversational. You have all the time in the world to reveal your innermost thoughts, passions and fetishes. Hold back a little and save some topics for future dates.  Keep a little mystery and enjoy watching the story unfold.

What cringe-worth thing have you said on a first date that you wish you hadn’t?

 

 

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