Be Fully You

How Wearing Sexy Lingerie for Myself Boosted My Self Confidence

sexy lingerie

It was my first bra-fitting, in college, that did it: My posture immediately improved, my clothes fit better, and it felt like a literal weight had been lifted off of my chest. That did it: I was immediately obsessed with lingerie. I began scouring the internet for blogs and online stores to feed my newfound addiction.

I quickly discovered my tastes leaned towards the femme fatale, so I ordered a lacy black garter belt and stockings online. The quality of the fabric reflected my budget at the time, but when I finally held the items in my hands, I was enthralled with everything from the stitchwork to the plastic fasteners.

After a solid 20 minutes of struggling to work the clips onto my stockings, it occurred to me I should surprise the guy I was seeing with my new attire. Hed never expressed any interest in lingerie, but guys like that type of thing – right? But when I looked in the mirror, I was gripped with terror: what if he laughed at me? In my head, I played and replayed a scenario of me sauntering into the bedroom decked out in black lace and mesh, but it always ended with him telling me that my effort made me look like an idiot. The stakes of wearing lingerie in front of someone I wanted to impress were infinitely higher than lounging around my bedroom, pretending I was a French movie star.

He never saw the garter belt, and we didnt last long as a couple. In the months that followed, I would occasionally put on the lingerie before heading over to a special someones house, but I always took it off before I even left my bedroom. My anxiety had started feeling like a premonition.

I graduated college and the stockings ripped, so I threw out the set by the time I moved back in with my parents. Even from a distance, lingerie still had a hold on me. It’s unabashedly feminine and sexy; and it seemed like a tangible component of being a self-possessed woman. In a fit of boldness not long after I left my parents’, I bought a higher-quality garter belt and stockings.

It took some time for my self confidence to catch up with my purchases. But I loved the way I felt in the lingerie: the garter belt hugged my hips and thighs, and made me feel a force to be reckoned with. I wasnt seriously dating anyone, so all of that gloriously crafted lingerie stayed shoved into the back of a drawer–until I started wearing it for myself.

At first I would just wear it when I was alone in my bedroom, but I graduated to marching my stocking-clad legs into the outside world. Its an invisible delight to know Im wearing something that made me feel good beneath my skirt or cocktail dress. I feel magnetic when I wear it on dates, even when I know well both be going home separately.

To this day, no one has seen me in my lingerie, but that matters less. The confidence that comes with feeling confident in your skin, no matter how you adorn your body, is an armor that even the possibility of ridicule cant crack.

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  • Reply
    Val B
    March 3, 2017 at 12:40 pm

    Thank you for sharing. I have always thought that it would be great to do it for myself, but never have. I’m going to start.

  • Reply
    July 9, 2017 at 11:27 am

    In the same way they say “clothes make the man”, perhaps lingerie “makes” the woman. Even if no one else sees it because it is concealed beneath more conservative clothing, knowing you are wearing it can affirm and encourage a confident attitude you secretly have about your body and your sexuality while the feel of a luxurious garment with a perfect fit can provide personal pleasure and joy. Every woman should own at least a few select items of clothing and accessories that she can wear with confidence.

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